Be better not bitter

Author : Haseena Kabeer (DTM)

Assistant Professor (English)

Vivekananda Global University, Jaipur


Life has its own ups and downs; an average human being strives hard to make his/ her life better by working day and night. At one moment of time, we all lose the energy and find ourselves at an isolated corner. Now, the question is how to reconstruct the lost energy. We come across every day with a lot of hurdles and impediments. At times, our past experiences keep on haunting us and leads to become a bitter person. The transformation definitely takes time but one day you realize that you have changed a lot. The was anonymous yet it was beyond your control.

Introspection helps to become better. Examine your perceptions regarding giving and receiving. Do you give freely or give with the expectation of getting something back? Almost everyone fails at this. It can take a lifetime to master. Not expecting anything material in return is easy. Not expecting loyalty or kindness in return is difficult beyond words. Learning to give just to give means if a receiver takes and takes only.Spreading rumors, embellishing your secrets or doing things to intentionally hurt you. We move on without focusing our energy on everything we gave them. And we don't return their small minded behavior and spill all their secrets. It’s a tough thing to accomplish. We should try to understand the intention of the giver. If we suspect the giver is hoping to get something back, we should decline their gift, even if it looks ungracious to do so.

Retelling your story also promotes bitterness. And often, in telling our story to others, we stop telling the truth to ourselves. We avoid facing what truly bothers us because we allow ourselves to become distracted by what other people say.

Being Productive and grateful for everything also helps us in becoming better, if you are busy making the most of what you have and, even helping those who have less- you will not only have the time to entertain your bitterness but, on the contrary, you will find sense, joy and fulfillment Many people who are bitter know they had a part in what took place, but are too ashamed to admit to it. It’s possible to hold on to bitterness for a long time so you can focus your anger on someone else, because the truth is you are furious at yourself, and that feels too hard to face. The point of acknowledging the part you played isn't to blame yourself but to reclaim your personal power and this is what sets you apart from being a victim or someone in control of your life. Once you accept what you did, you understand that it wasn't done to you because you either allowed it or encouraged it. Even if it was unknowingly at the time.

A digital detox is also helpful at times, a period of time during which a person refrains from using electronic devices such as smartphones or computers, regarded as an opportunity to reduce stress or focus on social interaction in the physical world. Detoxing” from digital devices is often seen as a way to focus on real-life social interactions without distractions.

A digital detox can improve your physical and mental health, increase your attention span, develop your problem-solving skills, and even boost your creativity. It's also an important way to reduce stress. 

There are tough things that happen to us in life. However, life is a game. We decide what we do with circumstances, yes we absorb a certain amount of the tough stuff But we also choose how long we let those things affect us. To be happy we must choose the good to focus on!

The longer you live, the more variant you experience. So just hang in there! The only thing true about life is Change! So if you don’t like it now give it a week, month, year and stuff will be different! Always know you choose to be happy or not! It’s a state of mind not circumstances! (The author has his own study and views)